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On Today's Episode:

If you’re in the middle of emotionally trying times, lost your job, death and grief over loved ones and failing relationships, we know emotional pain f*cking sucks! But what now? Sitting in these emotions forever isn’t practical or healthy. So, what are the options?

Bottle it up, push those feelings aside, and push through! You’re hardcore, you’re badass, nothing is going take you out. Just don’t think about it, move on and get gritty.

OR…

Let the pain take over until you feel like a puddle of nothing. Everything feels hopeless, the pain is unbearable, and how could you ever smile again?

Neither of these extremes are healthy ways to cope with your emotions, and as adults, if we’re honest, the majority of us suck at processing emotions. We get angry and take it out on the people closest to us. We go to work sad and hurt over a fight with our partner, now we can’t focus, productivity is low, and the quality of our work sucks.

Susan David, Harvard medical school psychologist and author of the #1 WSJ bestseller, Emotional Agility, has some strategies we can all start implementing today to learn how to process our emotions in an effective and healthier way. Her core message is that “emotions are data, not directives.”

We’re facing some really challenging times ahead and we’ve been fighting and hoping for better days since pre-Covid. This conversation answers how to deal with the difficult thoughts and use emotions as data instead of allowing them to direct a story of you starring as the victim.

You can have every valid reason to fuse with painful emotions, it doesn’t mean they’re helpful in the moment. Create space, observe what you're feeling, and identify the signpost.

Check out Susan David’s book, Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life: https://amzn.to/3aHKw25

Check out Susan David’s first Impact Theory Interview, Make Your Negative Thoughts Serve You: https://youtu.be/y8bwEgCcOXs

SHOW NOTES:

0:00 | Introduction to Negative Thinking
4:06 | Unhealthy Ways We Face Emotions
13:30 | Identify Your Emotional Signposts
24:38 | Make Space for Emotional Confusion
39:15 | The Secret Weapon Against Tragedy
50:35 | Don’t Allow Emotions to Write Your Story
1:11:01 | Strategies to Avoid Emotional Fusion

QUOTES:

“The difficult emotions feel really tough, but what they are pointing to, what they are signposting, is often something that we care about…” [1:16]

“The reality of life is that beauty and fragility hold hands with one another.” [3:39]

“There is a world of difference between being stubborn versus being stupid.” [9:01]

“When we ignore those difficult emotions we also turn ourselves away from the ability to adapt and to be effective in our lives.” [9:44]

“It is not about getting hooked on the difficult emotion, but rather recognizing that our emotions are data [...] they signpost things that we care about, but they are not directives.” [23:28]

“We deal with the uncertainty by becoming more adept with emotions.” [30:52]

“If you don’t have your values in place, you won’t ever risk tragedy because all you can see is that tragedy was bad, [...] but if you have a value system that mandates you risk tragedy then it becomes worth it.” [41:13] Tom Bilyeu

“The true tragedy is when we don’t know what our values are, and when we are literally risking our lives...” [48:51]

“We are learning from our emotions so we can step into the wisdom of our values, and that’s why emotions are data and not directives.” [59:14]

“Acceptance is a prerequisite to change, [...] Acceptance is about facing into the truth of your experience and the truth of your difficult situation.” [1:09:48]

“Preparing for connection happens when you connect with yourself.” [1:33:13]

Follow Susan David:
Website: https://www.susandavid.com/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/SusanDavid_PhD
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/susandavidphd
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/susandavid_phd/