This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Go to https://betterhelp.com/impact for 10% off your first month. BetterHelp is an online counseling company with the mission to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient.

Going through different stages of life and relationships is never easy. It’s easy to break down, fall apart or become numb and completely lose yourself along the way. Lisa Bilyeu has experience with navigating change and transitioning from a traditional supportive housewife to being the badass CEO and Co-founder of Impact Theory she now is. In this episode, Lisa and Tom reflect and share the lessons they’ve stumbled through along the way over the last 19 years of marriage to support Lisa’s awakening. Join them as they deep dive into how to get beyond the surface level arguments, discover the value of your frame of reference, and what it truly means to evolve together to be supportive. The trip is bumpy, a little messy, not as graceful as you may imagine or believe, but the way they are honest and committed to each other makes it successful and worthwhile every time.

Check Out Relationship Theory for solid relationship advice at every stage: https://www.youtube.com/channe....l/UCtHuUTWVRHUXVjmRr

SHOW NOTES:

0:00 | Introduction Lisa Bilyeu
2:36 | Why Love Isn’t Enough
3:24 | The Gap Between Love & Divorce
4:43 | Change Impacting Relationships
6:03 | Not Understanding Each Other
7:16 | Surface Level Arguments
10:15 | Find the Frame of Reference
16:46 | Preparing for Disruptive Changes
22:04 | Self Soothing Through Change
23:06 | Embracing Change Together
30:42 | Evolving Plans Call for Change
31:58 | When Personality Changes
39:02 | Making The Transitions Work
42:02 | Pivot from CEO To Cuddly Wife
45:23 | What You Need vs. Want
48:35 | Power In Being Needed
52:18 | Why You Have To Communicate
57:18 | Emphasis of Feelings
1:01:28 | Own Your Triggers & Insecurities

QUOTES:

“The problem with emotions, they make things seem self evidently correct.” Tom Bilyeu [6:40]

“If someone who loves you, and that you love are going that head to head, you don't perceive the situation the same. Therefore, the entire argument should stop instantly, and you should simply say, where's the misperception?” Tom Bilyeu [10:26]

“If you want someone to be there when you're weak, you have to be honest about where you're weak.” Lisa Bilyeu [18:02]

“So the goal was for me to change my life to break out of the mundane.” Lisa Bilyeu [19:35]

“I had to be very aware, and really respectful to the fact that my change is going to impact you.” Lisa Bilyeu [24:16]

“We had the goal, we had the strategy, and in that strategy, I got lost, I lost myself.” Lisa Bilyeu [31:30]

“So as you're going through that transition, the thing for me to fall back on was, I'm in this forever. So now I'm only looking for ways to make it work. I'm not looking for the exit ramp.” Tom Bilyeu [39:02]

“I want you to become whoever you want to become in order to be proud, and I want you to feel that you've become as powerful as you want to become.” Tom Bilyeu [40:31]

“As your business partner, I owe it to you to not be weak, and I owe it to you to stand my ground if I believe in something and you owe it to me to stand your ground.” Lisa Bilyeu [42:23]

“I would never be able to stay with a wife who didn't know how to make me feel powerful… it feels so good… If you're with a man that doesn't know how to make you feel beautiful, you're missing a trick.” Tom Bilyeu [45:23]

“Understand the difference between need and want. Because failing to understand that you have to own yourself, you have to own your own emotions, you have to take control of your life” Tom Bilyeu [46:22]

“On occasions to really be able to turn to them and know they've got your back that when you fucking fall on the floor, they are there to reach out a hand and fucking pull you back up.” Lisa Bilyeu [47:33]

“Do I know that he loves me? And if the answer is yes, then I come back to this conversation from that perspective. If the answer's no, I have a much bigger problem.” Tom Bilyeu [55:04]

“People confuse feeling something for having thought through it, or for knowing that something is true.” Tom Bilyeu [58:30]

“Talking about triggers and our own insecurities and our own things. It is 1,000% on me to work through my own triggers my own insecurities.” Lisa Bilyeu [1:01:29]

“It's really freaking hard though, to say in that moment, ‘hey, I'm being triggered,’ and I know that this trigger doesn't serve me but you're still feeling the emotion” Lisa Bilyeu [1:03:25]

Follow Lisa Bilyeu:
Website: https://www.lisabilyeu.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lisabilyeu/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channe....l/UCeir7Wbzzfg43c1eL