Everyone has needs — from love, attention, affirmation, touch, and so forth. And some of our needs are met in relationships with others. There’s a big difference between having needs and being needy.

Overcoming codependency and poor boundaries requires us to notice and value our personal needs, but many of us, understandably, deny our needs out of fear of being too needy.

Codependency, people-pleasing, and boundary issues are rooted in our tendency to avoid our needs and feelings. Instead, we focus on taking care of other people’s needs, trying to make them happy, or trying to solve their problems. And if you’ve been told (in words or actions) that your needs don’t matter, that you shouldn’t have any needs, or that other people’s needs always matter more than yours, it can feel “needy” to acknowledge and communicate your needs. But, usually, this isn’t the case!

To learn more about having basic human needs, continue watching the video

#emotionalsupport #showsupport #vulnerability

Writer: Clarisse Delos Reyes
Editor: Caitlin McColl
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice Over: Amanda Silvera (http://www.youtube.com/amandasilvera )
Animator: Jonah
Youtube Manager: Cindy Cheong

References:
Brown, B. (2010). The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are. Hazelden Publishing.

Gottman, J. M. (1999). The Marriage Clinic: A Scientifically Based Marital Therapy. W. W. Norton & Company.

Johnson, S. M. (2008). Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love. Little, Brown Spark.